Father, far farther.

Father’s day came and went quietly, just like it had for the past 18 years.

It’s been so long that its starting to feel like I don’t miss him as much as I did anymore.

I was 12 when it happened. I remember I was in the living room, playing mario on nintendo when my sister came out to tell me that he had passed. I remember the look on his face, finally at ease, having found deliverance from the agony of cancer. I remember how my mum reduced to a heap of tears as they carried his body out.

I spent too many nights wondering how my life would be different if I had more years with him around. What would he have told me when I brought my first date home? What would he say to me the night before when I was packing to be enlisted the next day? What he would advise me the day I went for my first job interview? What he would say when I got married or when I moved out to my new house?

Would I be who I am now?

I always felt growing up without a dad, or any other father figure in my life makes me fear being a dad myself. I’m afraid I might never be able to impart the “dad experience” because I have no idea what that is.

I’ve always been envious of friends who are close to their dads, and always tried to imagine all the life lessons they must have been taught. Those only dads can teach.

So share with me, what is the single best piece of advice your dad has ever told you? I’d like to know what I’m missing.

Father, far farther.